Barriers to Love
The past two weeks we’ve been diving deeper into receiving the Love of God. Last week we saw how when we believe a false image of God we are not able to see Him for who He is really is and that limits our capacity to receive His love.
The third step to more fully receive God’s love is to become aware of what is in the way of us and God’s love: our sins and wounds.
When we are holding onto sin it’s like our hands are closed, full of garbage that we know isn’t good for us but are not letting go. In the Sacrament of Penance we open ourselves to receiving God’s grace and love in a powerful way. When we repent and turn away from sin we open our hands, let the Lord take away the garbage, cleanse us, and then with clean and open hands receive His love.
At SEEK I had a powerful experience at confession. After I confessed my sins, Father Andrew said, “I heard you say, “I’m sorry” a lot as you confessed your sins. That is beautiful because every time we say to Jesus, “I’m sorry,” He says to us, “I know. I love you.””
It’s like putting down one piece of garbage at a time:
I’m sorry for judging others.
I know. I love you.
I’m sorry for not trusting in your goodness.
I know. I love you.
I’m sorry for not putting prayer first in my day.
I know. I love you.
When was the last time you went to Confession? I know for myself it’s easy not to go…or let the months pass by. What a gift we have to receive this Sacrament! I encourage you, my friend, to go and hear God say, “I know. I love you.”
The next barrier to receiving God’s love is our woundedness. A few years ago, I was introduced to Dr. Bob Schuchts & Jake Khym’s podcast, Restore the Glory. They were talking about the idea of wounds and how Jesus desires to heal us of our wounds but when we stay in our woundedness our capacity to love is limited.
Wounds can be experiences of the past that have hurt us or lies that we have believed about ourselves. Wherever there is a wound, there is a lack of love. It’s like a dry, barren river that cannot give life to anything because it lacks water.
When we ask God to come into the places that are hurting, He brings His Living Water. He refreshes our soul. He desires to transform our wounds into something beautiful.
It’s been a journey for me to first acknowledge that I am wounded and then have the courage to go to those places and let Jesus in.
At SEEK I went to pray with a prayer team and God in his mercy revealed a wound that I couldn’t name myself. I knew there was something preventing me from receiving God’s love. I felt it everytime I went to Mass or Adoration. I would start crying and my heart was hurting but I couldn’t name the hurt.
The Sister who was praying with me said, “Dene’, I believe you have a wound of rejection from God.” Immediately I felt my heart overwhelmed and I knew God gave her a word of knowledge for me.
This summer, as I have mentioned, my husband and I went through a very challenging time. I felt very far from God. I kept praying and didn’t see Him answering my prayers. I knew with faith He was present but I felt rejected and abandoned.
When Sister named that wound, at first I had a part of me that judged myself for feeling that way. It was a critical part saying, “You know God would never leave you. How could you feel this way?” But when I asked that part to step aside and I acknowledged the part of me that felt rejected and abandoned, I heard the Lord say to me, “There. I want to love you there.”
It was a beautiful grace! To name the wound and know that God wanted to be there with me and not be ashamed for feeling that way. That’s where the healing started.
And since then, I’ve been praying with this part of me and asking the Lord to come in and Heal me with His Loving Gaze. Sister also shared with me that I can go back to this summer and write down the places that I saw God with me. And I do that now. I bring to my awareness places I see God with me to reinforce I am never alone and that He is always with me.
“I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
It is a journey, but a beautiful one filled with many graces. So my dear friend, I invite you to take to prayer any sins or wounds that are a barrier for you to receive God’s love. And stay tuned next week as I share the fourth step on this journey of receiving God’s love!
